Hero stranger saves man from certain A38 death
A local hero who saved a man from jumping off the A38 bridge has shared his story, expressing his desire to meet the individual he rescued "for a coffee, and a hug and a chat".
The rescuer, referred to as Ian for privacy reasons, reached out to PlymouthLive after its coverage of the incident involving Andy, who was eager to extend his gratitude to the person who prevented his fall last month.
Andy, whose named has also been changed, recounted feeling hands grasp him as he teetered over the edge of the bridge's railings, only to be pulled back to safety and held in a life-saving embrace.
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Andy said he recalled how the man fiercely hugged him, saying "I'm not going to let this happen to you. I lost my daughter two years ago" and a few weeks later, as he began the arduous task of recovery, reached out via PlymouthLive to offer his heartfelt thanks to his rescuer.
It is not without surprise that his rescuer said he was "on a long journey of mental health myself" having suffered his own troubles and struggle over many years. His own life has not been without despair and loss, heartbreak and pain, enduring the agony of losing his daughter who succumbed to her own battle with depression and ended her life in 2021.
Despite this, he revealed that he has done his best, with the help of counselling, to turn his own pain around, find new purpose and a positivity he wants to encourage in others.
Ian said: "I've had mental health issues myself and I'm coming out the other side. I had a car crash when I was young, was abused, first wife died, lost my daughter to suicide. I've been there - I know how much it can hurt.
"But one of the best things to do is to talk because once you talk about it, it releases it. There's not enough awareness [of suicide], not enough help out there. I've even gone back to college to study psychology - I want to open an charity in Plymouth[3] for children suffering mental health, that's my long term goal.
"It was particularly hard for me on that day - I had my granddaughter in the van with me that day, my daughter's daughter. I was trying to get people to make sure she was okay, she couldn't understand what was going on whilst I was waiting for the police and ambulance.
"I knew what was happening soon as I saw him, because I lost my daughter. I turned around quick, sped back, put the van on the kerb. I just grabbed hold of him and told him "c'mon mate, you'll be alright, you'll be alright". I told him that it was okay, that you're not a failure, you're not a loser.
"Because I've been through this, I've been through these stages of failing - but you can overcome it with the right therapy and help. But talking about it is the biggest thing - you've got the talk about the issues, because that's when you release."
Ian said he recommends the use of counsellors and believes they do help, adding "you need that guidance of a counsellor". Ian said he was keen to get back in touch with Andy, saying that while he was on a "really long journey on mental health myself."
He added: "I'm here to help anybody else, my phone's always on, I'd really like to speak to him, even if it's for something I could do to help him, maybe take him somewhere, go with him to a first meeting, explain to him that it's okay to go to an Andy Man's Club, it's alright to ask for help."
With permission of both men, PlymouthLive has put them in touch with each other, with Ian saying Andy sent him what he described as a "lovely" and "beautiful" message and the hope is they will go for that coffee.
Ian added he had been where Andy was in his younger days - in both figurative and even literal terms. He admitted that he was so deep in his despair as a teenager that he jumped from his sister's car as it travelled at around 40mph "in exactly the same spot I saw him on that bridge".
He said he had a "feeling" when he drove past Andy at the same location, saying "I just knew - so I turned around".
"I've suffered greatly with mental health. I've been in the Glenbourne. It was a horrific terrific time - up until the last year really, but I'm just starting to heal - it's been a really hard journey. I'm not afraid to talk about it - I used to be afraid and ashamed. I'm no longer afraid to say to people 'look, I've got a few mental health issues."
He revealed he had not spoken to many people about when he jumped out of his sister's car, which he said "traumatised" her, but added that "it's one of those things that you don't realise what you're doing at the time. And at the time Andy didn't know what he was doing."
He said one of the things he's learned was to not drink, calling it one of worst drugs out there and saying it brings on "intrusive thoughts" adding "and after that you don't know what you're doing and you do things because your ego is in drink and you do things without realising".
Ian said he hoped Andy could get the right help and the right guidance. He added: "What I really, really, really hope is that people read this and it raises their awareness of men's mental health."
He revealed the work he has done included studying what we call mindfulness, but was primarily how to create positivity in one's life, getting their energy, mind and world view positive.
He said: "I mean, it all comes down to the mind. I'm going through a really, really big journey. Seeing Andy broke me to pieces, holding him and crying with him broke me to pieces. It was such a shock.
"I won't think twice about doing it again. But there's got to be more and more awareness for men. It's that age from 20 to 40 - they say it's under 50 but it's the ages between 20 to 40.
"I've just done this level three course in psychology and one of the things we talked about was anger, getting angry and they it's okay to be angry because being angry is no different than being sad or happy, because it's an emotion. Sometimes you need to let the emotion out. But being angry and violent is different - being angry is okay, being violent isn't."
Ian admitted that in his past his anger became violence, even leading him to being in trouble with the police, leading him to Glenbourne, and counsellors and doctors to the point where he didn't know where he was.
He said: "The world was so dark. It was so dark. I get up every morning now and I'm grateful for the breath I take, I'm grateful for the weather[4], I'm grateful whether it's raining or not. That wouldn't have happened even four or five years ago. I've done a lot of work since 2019. It's been a journey, which I think I'll be on for the rest of my life."
Speaking of his own tragic loss, Ian revealed that the tragic death of his own adult daughter, whom he described as "the most beautiful, beautiful girl with the most beautiful soul", had been reported on. He noted the inquest report, adding that there had been issues involving an abusive partner, drink and drugs.
Fighting back his own tears, he admits: "I'm only just now really processing it. Because I had a car crash in 1989 and I've suffered nerve and brain damage, processing it is really, really hard."
Ian's own philosophy of life now encompasses everything from childhood, diet, air, suggesting an unhealthy diet can lead to an unhealthy mind.
He said: "I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I don't believe the world is as clean as it should be. It stems from your childhood, to the food that we eat, the water we drink, the air we breath. Mental health, a lot of it comes down to the quality of life that you're living, the food, the water, the air you breath.
"My long term plan is I've gone back to college, I'm doing English and maths and I've done my level three in psychology and I'm going to university. I'm going to try and get level five, level six in psychology and open a charity in Plymouth for children's mental health. I just want to really, really educate myself as much as I can.
"I've always helped the homeless, but my long-term plan now is to try and prevent the homeless, the teenager who because of mental health, becomes homeless at 14, 15 and 16. That's my long term goal now."
If you need help or support, we have listed a number of organisations below.
There are dozens of places to get online help, including web-chats, text help, phone-calls and even apps with games to help you manage your feelings. If you are needing help or just want to know what is available to you, we have compiled a full list of a number of services here[5].
Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected][6].
Pete's Dragons (01395 277780) provides specialist support and advice for those affected by suicide in any way via telephone or email at [email protected].
Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.
PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation which speaks openly about suicide and supports teenagers and young adults who have may suicidal thoughts. You can also get in contact with Papyrus via text on 07786 209697 or email via [email protected].
The opening hours are as follows; 9am – 10pm weekdays, 2pm – 10pm weekends, 2pm – 10pm bank holidays.
Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It doesn’t have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information. http://www.depressionalliance.org/[7]
Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts. Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying. http://studentsagainstdepression.org/[8]
The Sanctuary (0300 003 7029) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year, for people who are struggling to cope - experiencing depression, anxiety, panic attacks or in crisis.
Andy's Man Club now has four groups across Devon (Plymouth, Newton Abbot[9], Torbay[10], Exeter[11]). It provides men with a safe, non-judgemental, confidential place to chat and get stuff off your chest. To gain access during lockdown, any man over 18 can email [email protected].
Livewell Southwest provides integrated health and social care services for people across Plymouth and other parts of the region. For anxiety and depression enquiries please email [email protected][12].
If you feel worried about your mental health or that of a loved one or a friend, you can call the helpline on 0800 923 9323, which is the Livewell’s First Response Service. It is available to contact 24/7 by calling 0800 923 9323.
Livewell also run Chathealth, a text service used by health visitors and school nurses to support families and young people.
The service is available Monday to Friday 9am – 5pm, excluding bank holidays. During out–of–hours, anyone who texts the service will receive an automated message with advice on where to get help if their question is urgent.
Livewell ChatHealth 0-5 years Parents Service – 07480 635188Livewell ChatHealth 5-10 years Parents Service – 07480 635189Livewell ChatHealth 11-19 years Young Peoples Service – 07480 635198
SHOUT (85258) is a 24/7 UK crisis text service available for times when people feel they need immediate support.
By texting ‘SHOUT’ to ‘85258’ a Texter will be put in touch with a trained Crisis Volunteer (CV) who will chat to them using trained techniques via text. To get help or find out more about how Shout works, visit the Get Help[13] page.
Mental health charity Mind : If you need non-urgent information about mental health support and services that may be available to you please call the Mind Infoline on 0300 123 3393 or email [email protected][14]
References
- ^ Major decision over eyesore Devon hotel is 'just depressing' (www.devonlive.com)
- ^ Huge plans for closed historic Devon pub (www.devonlive.com)
- ^ Plymouth (www.devonlive.com)
- ^ weather (www.plymouthherald.co.uk)
- ^ here (www.plymouthherald.co.uk)
- ^ [email protected] (www.devonlive.com)
- ^ http://www.depressionalliance.org/ (www.depressionalliance.org)
- ^ http://studentsagainstdepression.org/ (studentsagainstdepression.org)
- ^ Newton Abbot (www.devonlive.com)
- ^ Torbay (www.devonlive.com)
- ^ Exeter (www.devonlive.com)
- ^ [email protected] (www.devonlive.com)
- ^ Get Help (www.giveusashout.org)
- ^ [email protected] (mind.org.uk)